


Focus On My Voice

by Samunderthelights



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Crushes, Falling In Love, First Love, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, I Don't Even Know, Light Angst, M/M, Post-Hogwarts, Remus has a secret, The Marauders - Freeform, wizards in the muggle word
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2019-10-22
Packaged: 2020-10-13 21:16:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20589236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Samunderthelights/pseuds/Samunderthelights
Summary: After graduating Hogwarts, Sirius, James and Lily have moved to Cardiff to try and live without magic for a while. But when Sirius gets a job at a café, and he meets a Muggle called Remus, he realises that you can't run away from who, or what you are. Little does he know, that Remus unfortunately knows this all too well.





	1. Chapter 1

Sirius can’t help but notice the young man who is wiping down a table, his dark hair messy, his skin a sickly pale shade of grey, his eyes tired. They make him look older than his years. He wonders if the boy is ill, if he can even work in this state. But then he watches him take a deep breath, and straighten his back, a certain strength coming over him. Hiding the weakness which had been written all over his face, his body, only moments before.  
“Are you even listening to a word I’m saying?” James asks, and Sirius snaps out of his thoughts, and looks over to his best friend, who is sitting across the table from him. “Are you alright?”  
“Yeah, sorry, I’m just… what were you saying?”  
“I was saying you really need to get yourself a job.”  
“I know,” Sirius interrupts him, looking down into his coffee.  
“You know I don’t mind paying, but…,” James says, an embarrassed look on his face, because he hates to talk about this subject. “This isn’t going to last forever, and you need to save up some money.”  
“I’ll get a job.”  
“You said that last year.”  
“And I did,” Sirius says, a mischievous smile on his face, an James raises an eyebrow. “What, I did!”  
“Make it a bit more… legal this time.”  
“When did you get so boring?” Sirius laughs, as James shakes his head, staring out of the window. “But I’ll get a job. I promise.”  
He looks back at the young man, who is now wiping down another table, and he still can’t help but wonder what his story is. Wonder if he’s okay. But then the boy looks up, straight into his eyes. He wants to look away, but he can’t. So he simply flashes a small smile. It makes the young man blush, and he goes back to wiping down the table. Sirius can’t help but smile as he watches him, now nervously keeping his face down. He is hoping that the boy will look up at him again, but he doesn’t.  
“So… ready to go?” James asks, after he has finished his coffee. Sirius wishes he could take a final look at the young man, but he is nowhere to be seen, so he simply gets up, grabs his coat, and follows James out of the café.

-

“Ah, mrs. Potter,” Sirius laughs, when the beautiful red-haired young woman enters the apartment, carrying bags full of groceries.  
“Don’t.”  
“Still getting used to it?”  
“I’ll never get used to it,” she laughs, as Sirius gets up to take the bags from her. They go into the kitchen, and set down the bags. Lily sits down on a stool, letting out a sigh.  
“Long day?”  
“I want to go back to Hogwarts,” Lily says, and Sirius can’t help but laugh, as he goes over to her and wraps his arms around her. “Things were so much easier, weren’t they?”  
“You wouldn’t have to cook… clean…”  
“I wouldn’t have to do those things now, if you two would just…”  
“I love you,” Sirius laughs, before kissing the top of her head.  
“Bastard.”

“I was at the café, and they are looking for someone,” James says, as they are having dinner that night. Sirius looks up at him, a confused look on his face. “And you need a job, so…”  
“You want me to make coffee?”  
“The machine makes coffee. You’ll be serving it to people,” James says, and Sirius is about to open his mouth, but then he sighs. He knows he needs the job, because this arrangement won’t last forever. Sure enough, James is paying the rent for this apartment, and will pay for it as long as they live here, but now that he and Lily are married, they won’t want to share an apartment with someone else for much longer. So he knows he will need money to pay for his own place soon.  
“When?”  
“When what?” James asks, but by the smug look on his face Sirius can see that he knows exactly what he is asking.  
“When do I have to be there?”  
“Tomorrow at ten. Don’t be late.”

-

“When can you start?”  
“You’re giving me the job?” Sirius asks, a confused look on his face. He was convinced he had messed up the interview, and he had already been rehearsing the conversation in his mind, where he had to tell James and Lily.  
“I am,” Hope says, a friendly smile on her face. “So when can you start?”  
“Ehm… tomorrow?”  
“I’ll see you tomorrow at eight then. My son… where is he…,” Hope says, looking around the café. The young man Sirius had noticed when he and James had been here the other week, is standing behind the counter, looking happier, and much healthier now. “Ah, there he is. Remus, he will teach you all you need to know.”  
“He’s your son?”  
“He is. What, I’m too young to be his mum?” Hope laughs, and Sirius can’t help but smile. “I’m just teasing you, love. But yeah, that’s my boy. You will be working with him.”  
“I can’t wait.”

-

“You must be Sirius,” Remus says, as he opens the door. The café is still closed, so he had knocked on the door, hoping to be let in. It had actually taken a little while, and Sirius had been about to turn and leave, when the door had opened. “Come in.”  
“I’m Remus,” the young man says, flashing a small and nervous smile.  
“Sirius, nice to meet you. So… your mum owns this place, huh?”  
“Yeah, she does. I’m not… I work hard though, so…,” Remus says, and Sirius can see the nervous look written all over his face. “I’m not just…”  
“I’m not judging you,” Sirius says, and he flashes a reassuring smile. “It was just a question.”  
“Right…”  
“So… what happened to the guy who had my job?”  
“Oh, she left,” Remus explains, as he leads Sirius to the room in the back. “She worked here since my mum opened the café, so…”  
“So I’m the first new guy?”  
“Yeah. It’s just the two of us, and mum. But mum usually only deals with the business side of things, you know? And she steps in when one of us is ill,” Remus explains, as Sirius hangs his coat up on a chair.  
“Don’t you ever get tired of it?”  
“Nah, I like it here,” Remus shrugs, and Sirius can’t help but smile at the kind and gentle nature of the young man. He seems down to earth, normal. The opposite of some of the people Sirius had dealt with back at Hogwarts, some of the people who had made him want to come here in the first place.

“Do you live around here?” Remus asks, as they are closing up the café later that day.  
“Yeah, my friends and I, we rent an apartment just a few minutes from here.”  
“You live with your friends?”  
“Mhm. After we graduated, we decided to move here, get away from it all for a few years. Before it all gets real, you know?” Sirius tries to explain, but then he realises that a stranger probably won’t understand. Especially not a Muggle, who has no idea about magic, about Hogwarts. “But now the two of them are married, I have an actual job…”  
“It’s all getting real,” Remus says, and Sirius can’t help but smile.  
“What about you? Do you live around here? Do you live with your mum?”  
“With my parents,” Remus explains. “My dad is away for work a lot though, but… yeah, we live here. Upstairs.”  
“Have you lived here all your life? You don’t sound Welsh.”  
“No, we moved here a few years ago. We moved around a lot, but mum is Welsh, and she lived here when she was younger, so…”  
“It’s beautiful here.”  
“You haven’t lived here long, have you?” Remus laughs, as he grabs two muffins, and hands one over to Sirius. Sirius can’t help but smile, as they sit down on one of the tables, and quietly eat their muffin. But he catches the shy young man looking at him, and he looks up at him.  
“What?”  
“Nothing.”

-

“I want a double-choc-hazelnut-latte, triple-shot syrup, hold the cream, make it soy. Oh and…,” James rambles on, and Sirius can’t help but laugh.  
“That’s not even… a cappuccino then?”  
“Yes, please,” James laughs. “And a slice of… whatever that is,” he says, pointing at one of the cakes. “It’s not carrot cake, is it?”  
“It’s not,” Sirius laughs. “Sit down. It’s my treat.”  
“Thanks, man,” James says, before sitting down at one of the tables by the window. Remus comes up to Sirius, an uncomfortable look on his face.  
“I noticed he didn’t pay…”  
“Oh yeah, he’s my friend, he…”  
“You can’t give things away for free. I’m sorry, but…,” Remus says, and Sirius can’t help but smile at his nervousness. He puts a hand on his arm, and gives it a small squeeze.  
“Don’t worry, I was going to treat him. But I was going to pay for it myself later. I wouldn’t give away things for free.”  
“Oh…,” Remus says, looking more than embarrassed. “I’m so sorry, I…”  
“Don’t worry. I get it.”  
“Sorry,” Remus repeats, looking over at James. “He’s your…”  
“My best friend, James. I live with him and his wife, Lily. We all went to school together.”  
“I’ve seen you guys here before, haven’t I?” Remus asks, and Sirius can’t help but smile, remembering when he had been staring at him, and he had caught his eye, making him blush. He nods, and Remus seems to be remembering the moment now, because his cheeks turn a dark shade of red, and he looks down at his feet.  
“Remus?”  
“Yeah?”  
“Why don’t you come over to our place tonight? Hang out with us?” Sirius asks, and only after the words have left his mouth, does he realise what he has asked. He has asked Remus, a Muggle, to come over to their apartment. And although they are living without magic now, they are not hiding who they are back at the apartment. So bringing a Muggle there, it can only lead to trouble.  
But a shy smile appears on Remus’ face, and Sirius wonders if he has any friends of his own at all. If he ever hangs out with anyone other than Hope. Because he can see how genuinely surprised he is, and how much it means to him to get invited at all.  
“Are you sure? Won’t your friends mind?”  
“No, of course not. It’ll be great!”

“No, no way! You are not bringing a Muggle to the apartment,” James says, keeping his voice down, but somehow raising it at the same time. “Besides, isn’t he your boss?”  
“His mum is my boss, and he’s a really nice guy,” Sirius tries, but James shakes his head, as he looks over at Remus, who is serving a customer. “James, come on… Just tidy up the place, hide any…”  
“Evidence of what we are.”  
“I like this guy, James,” Sirius says, a pleading look on his face. “He makes me feel normal.”  
“And we don’t?”  
“You know what I mean. Please.”  
“Fine. But if he finds out… this is on you.”  
“I know. Thank you,” Sirius says, before giving James a big hug.

“Thank you so much for helping, those two in there never help,” Lily says, as Remus plates up dinner. “Well, that’s not technically true. They helped me once, but they nearly burned the kitchen down, so…”  
“So now we’re not allowed to help her anymore,” James interrupts her as he sits down at the kitchen table.  
“Just because you messed up once…”  
“I just don’t want to risk it,” James shrugs, and Lily slaps him in the arm, as she gives him a plate of food, before sitting down.  
“What’s your excuse?” Remus asks, as he hands Sirius his food, before sitting down next to him.  
“I can boil an egg. That’s it.”  
“Didn’t your mum ever teach you how to cook?” Remus laughs, but the atmosphere turns frosty, and he quickly looks down at his plate. “Sorry.”  
“No, I… I don’t have the kind of family you have. No mum to teach me how to cook,” Sirius admits.  
“Oh, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have…I can teach you,” Remus says, still looking uncomfortable, and he is actually making things more uncomfortable, but Sirius knows that he means well.  
“You better say yes, because you cannot live on boiled eggs,” Lily says, and Sirius can’t help but laugh. “And it’d be nice to have you cook dinner for once.”

“I’m sorry about before,” Remus says, as Sirius is walking him home. “I shouldn’t have assumed.”  
“You didn’t know. But… I actually lived with James, before we moved here. I was never a part of my family, and my mum… she was never a mother to me,” Sirius explains. “James’ mother was like a mother to me, but… I didn’t have what you have.”  
“I’m sorry.”  
“I don’t need them. I have a family,” Sirius says, but Remus can see the pain written all over his face. He reaches out to touch Sirius’ hand, but at the last moment pulls back. But Sirius has already noticed, and can’t help but smile. “You can touch me, you know?”  
“I…”  
“I don’t bite,” Sirius says, a mischievous smile on his face. Remus shakes his head, smiling to himself, as he looks up at the sky. “I wouldn’t even mind you touching my hand.” Sirius admits, and from the corner of his eye he can see Remus’ face turning a dark shade of red. “Did I say too much?” Sirius asks, but Remus doesn’t say a word. They simply walk on in silence, both processing everything that has been said today.


	2. Chapter 2

“Good morning, love,” Hope says, when Sirius walks into the café one morning. He had been expecting to find Remus there, so he is surprised to find Hope getting everything ready for the day. “Remus is ill, so he won’t be here for a few days.”  
“Oh, is he okay?”  
“It’s just a cold, but we can’t have him serving coffee while he’s coughing and sniffing, can we?”  
“Right…,” Sirius says, as he instinctually looks up at the ceiling, knowing that Remus is upstairs, probably in bed. He can’t help but wonder if he really has a cold, or if he is avoiding him. Because since Remus had hung out with him and his friends at the apartment, things had been a little uncomfortable. Remus had started avoiding him, which is a little difficult when you work together all day long. But somehow he had managed to do it.

-

“You look terrible,” Sirius says, when days later, Remus is at the café again. He is getting the café ready for the day, but he looks like he is about to collapse, and his skin is a sickly shade of grey, like it had been on the day Sirius had first seen him. “Are you sure you’re well enough to work?”  
“I’m fine.”  
“Remus…,” Sirius says, as he puts a hand on the young man’s back. He half expects him to walk away, or to flinch, to snap at him. But Remus simply seems to break down, as his legs give out. Sirius wraps his arms around him, holding him tight, wondering what is really going on. If it had really been a cold, or if there is more to this.  
“You’re taking it slow today. I’ll work harder, but… you’re not well,” Sirius says, as he brushes the hair out of Remus’ face. The young man lets him, looking exhausted and defeated, as he is staring down at the table. “Are you sure you’re okay?”  
“I’m not dying, if that’s what you’re thinking. I’m just… I had a cold, that’s all.”  
“Remus…”  
“Sirius,” Remus says, and Sirius can’t help but smile, as he looks into the young man’s eyes. There is such a sadness, and such shame, that the smile leaves his face. He opens his mouth to ask, but when he sees the tears in the young man’s eyes, he simply strokes his hair, to try and comfort him.

-

“It’s beautiful out here, isn’t it?”  
“It is,” Remus says, as he is staring out at the water in Cardiff Bay. He has such a content, peaceful look on his face, that Sirius is reminded of how he had looked last week, after he had been ill.  
“Remus… are you sure you’re okay? Last week…”  
“I’m fine,” Remus reassures him, but Sirius can see that he is hiding something. But they have only met a few weeks ago, so he doesn’t feel like he has a right to ask again.  
“If something is wrong, you know you can tell me, right?” he says, but Remus just stares out at the water, the stars shining brightly high up in the sky. Sirius hesitates for a moment, but then reaches out to put a hand on the young man’s knee. He expects him to pull away, but he doesn’t. So he gives his knee a small squeeze, trying to tell him that he is here for him. But when he does, he can hear him swallow hard. He looks up at him, and sees the tears in the young man’s eyes, and he can’t help but wonder what it is that he is hiding.

-

“What if he’s really ill?”  
“He’s not,” Lily says, as he picks up her bag. “He told you, he isn’t dying. He’s probably just ashamed that his mum had to step in for him. He doesn’t want to show weakness in front of…”  
“What?”  
“In front of someone like you,” Lily explains, but Sirius doesn’t get it. She sighs, and puts her bag down again, knowing that she can’t leave in the middle of this conversation. “Look at you, then look at him. He’s a…”  
“What?”  
“He’s shy, he’s… does he even have any friends?”  
“I don’t think he does…”  
“He lives with his parents, works with his mum, looks like…,” Lily begins, but then she stops herself.  
“Like what?”  
“You really don’t see it, do you?”  
“What?” Sirius asks, and Lily can’t help but smile. “What?”  
“You wouldn’t have given him the time of day back at Hogwarts. He’s not exactly like you and James. He’s like the boys you would have teased before,” she explains, but Sirius still doesn’t understand. Remus is nothing like those boys, is he? “and I’m sure he has been bullied by boys like you when he was younger. So when someone like you finally gives him attention, and he then has to show weakness in front of you… I can’t imagine how he must be feeling.”  
“Are we really that different?”  
“Yes,” Lily laughs. “Now, can I go to work?”  
“Yeah, of course,” Sirius says, still processing what Lily has told him.

“Remus?”  
“Mhm?”  
“Were you ever bullied in school?” Sirius asks, as they are closing up the café that night.  
“Oh, I was home-schooled,” Remus explains. “We moved around a lot, because of dad’s work, so it was easier for mum to teach me, than for me to move schools every time.”  
“So you’ve never…”  
“Never been to school? No. But my mum is a great teacher,” Remus says, and Sirius can’t help but smile. “Were you ever bullied?”  
“No,” Sirius says, and the smile quickly leaves his face. “I have to admit that I have bullied people though. Me and James.”  
“Why?”  
“Because we thought we were better than them, thought we were funny… I’m ashamed of it now, but we were just…”  
“Just kids?” Remus interrupts him, and Sirius nods.  
“It’s no excuse though, is it?” he sighs, and a long silence follows. They sit down on one of the tables, and quietly stare out of the window, out into the street.  
“Would you have bullied me?” Remus eventually asks, and Sirius looks up at him. He tries to see the young man Lily had described, the boy he wouldn’t have given the time of day. The boy he and James would have bullied. But all he can see is the handsome young man who makes his heart skip a beat whenever he smiles at him.  
“Never,” he says, and without even thinking about it, he grabs the young man’s hand. “You’re my friend.”  
“Yeah?”  
“Do you even need to ask me that?” Sirius asks, but when he sees the shy and nervous look on Remus’ face, he can’t help but smile. “You are. I like you, Remus.”  
“Yeah?”  
“Quite a lot actually,” Sirius admits, looking down at their hands. He half expects Remus to now pull away, tell him off, or worse. But Remus doesn’t say a word.

-

“Why don’t you go out with us on Friday night?” James suggests, as he takes his coffee from Remus. “We’re going to this club, and…”  
“I can’t, I…”  
“Am too busy?” James asks, and Remus gets a shy look on his face. “Sorry, I didn’t mean…”  
“I’ve got a thing, so…”  
“Another time then?”  
“I’d like that,” Remus says, and he flashes a small smile, before James goes over to his table. Remus goes over to a table to wipe it down, but he can’t help but think about Friday night. He has never gotten a chance to go out with friends before, and now that he finally has the chance, he can’t go. It makes him feel sick to his stomach. It makes him hate himself.

-

“Where’s Remus?”  
“Oh, he’s ill, love. Caught another cold,” Hope explains, but Sirius can tell that she is hiding something.  
“Is it something more serious? Is he…”  
“He’ll be fine, love. Just give it a few days, and he’ll be right as rain,” Hope says, but Sirius can see the pain in her smile. “Now, why don’t we have a nice cup of tea before we start the day, huh?”  
Sirius knows when to keep quiet, but still he can’t help but wonder if Remus is okay. And as he instinctively looks at the ceiling, knowing that Remus is upstairs, a sickening feeling washes over him.

-

It has been just over half a year since Sirius has started his job at the café, but it feels like the café, Hope and Remus have always been a part of his life. Before, he had felt out of place, he had been searching for his place out here in the real world. But now he feels like he belongs. He finally feels like a normal person.

“So, have you asked him out on a date yet?” Lily asks, as she is packing her bag for work one morning.  
“No,” Sirius laughs. “Do I have to?”  
“Yes,” Lily laughs. “You can’t keep going on like this forever, just… flirting, or whatever it is that the two of you do. Have you even kissed him yet?”  
“Of course not. I’m not even sure if he likes me.”  
“Oh for… Ask him out.”  
“I can’t.”  
“Why not?”  
“What if he says no, and I’ll have to face him every day after that?” Sirius asks, and Lily can’t help but smile at the nervous look on his face. “It would be too embarrassing.”  
“Then invite him over here, and we’ll try and figure out if he fancies you.”  
“And if he doesn’t?”  
“Then you’ll have to find another job,” Lily laughs, and Sirius shakes his head, smiling to himself. “Sirius, come on. You’ve liked this guy for months. Ask him out.”  
“I will,” Sirius says, and Lily raises an eyebrow. “I won’t. I really like him, but…”  
“No buts, Black. You ask this guy out, or I will…”  
“You will ask him out?” Sirius asks, a mischievous smile on his face.  
“Whatever it takes to make you see sense.” Lily winks, before giving him a big hug.

“That’s the third order you’ve messed up now,” Remus says, a nervous look on his face, still nervous to call Sirius out on his mistakes. “Are you sure everything’s alright?”  
“I’m just having an off day. Sorry. I’ll pay for the…”  
“No, that’s fine,” Remus interrupts him, and he puts a hand on his arm. “We’ll talk later,” he says, when another customer comes up to the counter. Sirius gives a little nod, but he can’t stop thinking about his conversation with Lily earlier. He had been wanting to ask Remus out for months, but he had always told himself that the time wasn’t right, that Remus probably wasn’t interested in him, that it would be unprofessional. He had always managed to come up with excuses. But he really likes him, has liked him for months, and he would love for them to be more than friends. So he knows he will have to take this step sooner or later.

“So, what’s wrong?” Remus asks, when they have closed up, and they are having a coffee, to end the day.  
“I like you,” Sirius blurts out, and Remus can’t help but laugh.  
“Good to know.”  
“No, I…,” Sirius says, but then he puts his coffee down, and he turns to face Remus. He places a hand on the young man’s knee, and looks down at it, still not sure if he is doing the right thing, or if he is messing things up. “I like you, Remus.”  
“Oh.”  
“Have I said too much?”  
“I don’t know,” Remus admits, his face having gone a dark shade of red.  
“Do you want to forget I ever said anything?” Sirius asks, but Remus shakes his head, looking down at Sirius’ hand on his knee. “Would you like to come over to our place tomorrow night, have dinner at ours?”  
“I’d like that.”  
“And maybe we can, you know… go out some time. Just the two of us,” Sirius suggests, and Remus looks up at him, looking so nervous, that he is visibly shaking. Sirius brushes the hair out of his face, a small smile on his face, his fingers lingering on the young man’s face for just a moment. He then breathes a sigh, and looks out of the window, remembering who he really is. He is not a normal young man. He is wizard with a past, a history, a secret he is hiding from the outside world, from Remus. How can they ever be anything more than friends, if he can’t ever be himself around him? If he can’t tell him who he truly is?  
“Sirius?”  
“Yeah?”  
“I like you too.”


	3. Chapter 3

“I’m going to cancel. It’ll never work. If he finds out I’m a wizard, he’ll…”  
“There are plenty of wizards who go out with Muggles, it can work,” Lily says, as she takes the phone from his hand, and puts it back down. “If he really likes you, then…”  
“You’re just nervous, man,” James says. “See how things work out first, then tell him. I’m sure he’ll be fine about it. He’s a good guy.”  
“He is, but…”  
“If he likes you, he will accept you, magic and all,” Lily says, and Sirius lets out a sigh. He catches the sight of himself in the mirror, and notices his eyes. Dark Black eyes. They are a constant reminder of his family, the family he left behind. “He will accept who you are, Sirius.”  
“Will he accept them?”  
“You are nothing like them,” James reassures him. “You’re a Black, but…”  
“Yeah, I’m a Black. I am…”  
“Nothing like them,” James repeats. “You’re a good man, Sirius.”

“He’s handsome, isn’t he?” Lily asks, as she sits down on the sofa, next to Remus. They look over at Sirius and James, who had offered to wash up after dinner. “He has always been handsome, but…”  
“He is too good for me,” Remus says, and Lily looks up at him, a small smile on her face.  
“He really likes you. I haven’t heard him talk about a guy so much ever before,” she admits, and Remus’ face turns bright red. “He’s a good guy, you know? You really should give him a chance.”  
“Why did he…”  
“What?”  
“Why couldn’t he live with his family?” Remus asks. “What did he do?”  
“Did he do?” Lily asks, taken aback by the question. “Sirius didn’t do anything, he… he is… His family, they are the most hateful family you will find. They…,” Lily begins, but how can she explain their story to a Muggle, without giving too much away. “They spread hate, and Sirius, he has always been the black sheep of the Black family, he…”  
“The Black family?” Remus interrupts her. “He is Sirius… Sirius Black?”  
“Yeah. Why?”  
“Nothing,” Remus says, but Lily can see the colour draining from his face. “Go on.”  
“They are hateful people, and he is a good person. He has more love in his little finger, than all of them have ever felt, all of them put together. They have never accepted him, so one day he just… he decided enough was enough. He packed his bags, left them, and moved in with James and his family.”  
“And his family?”  
“I don’t think he has seen them since.”  
“Right…,” Remus says, and he looks back at Sirius, who is laughing with James. He watches his face, his big smile, the crinkles around his eyes. Dark eyes. Black eyes. He can’t help but wonder how he had never noticed them before.

-

It’s been nearly two weeks, and Sirius hasn’t heard from Remus since he had come over to the apartment for dinner. Hope had stepped in for him at the café, she had made some excuse about him having a cold again. But Lily had told him about Remus getting nervous after hearing about the Black family, and Sirius had gotten a bad feeling about it. What if even Muggles have heard about his family, what if even they know how truly hateful they are? How they have hunted down and murdered people? What if it has scared him off?

“Sirius, love,” Hope says, when he enters the café one morning. “I’d like for you to meet my husband. Lyall!” she yells, and a man comes out of the back, looking relaxed. But the second he lays eyes on Sirius, his eyes widen.  
“This is…”  
“Sirius Black,” Lyall interrupts his wife, and Sirius can feel his blood turning cold as ice. “You… have you come to… how have you found us?”  
“Lyall, what are you talking about?” Hope asks, looking more than confused.  
“He is one of them. The Black family, he is one of them.”  
“The Black family?” Hope asks, as she slowly but surely steps behind her husband.  
“I am not… I am not like my family,” Sirius tries, but he can see the man reaching into his jacket, so he quickly raises his hands. “Please, sir.”  
“How did you find us?” Lyall asks, getting his wand out, and holding it up to Sirius.  
“Find you… I needed a job, and my friend, James, he… I just needed a job… I don’t even know who you are,” Sirius tries to explain, but he is fully aware of the fact that he could be dead within a matter of minutes. Seconds even. The Muggles he has been working for, working with, for months, are wizards? Wizards who hate him, are scared of him? Does this mean Remus is a wizard too?  
“Why are you doing this to us? Why the months of lying?” Hope asks, but Sirius has no idea what she is talking about.  
“Lying? I told you my name when I applied for the job. You know who I am. I didn’t lie. I don’t know who you are, or why… If you are hiding, then… I’m not going to tell anyone, I promise. Please. I will leave now, and I will…”  
“Tell your family where we are? So they can come for him?”  
“Come for…?” Sirius asks, but then he looks towards the ceiling. “It’s not you who are hiding, is it? It is Remus, who is hiding. What has he done? Who is he?”  
“Like you don’t know. Your family, you…,” Lyall spits out, and he takes a step towards Sirius, his wand now nearly touching Sirius’ chest. “I won’t let you hurt him. I will take out every single member of your sick family, you…”  
“What is he?” Sirius asks, the tears now in his eyes. Not only because he is afraid for his own life, but because he is afraid for the young man upstairs. If his family is looking for him, then he is in trouble.  
But then it hits him. All the times he had been ill, all the times he had been off work. When it had happened, how often it had happened. He should have seen it before. But he had assumed that Remus had been a Muggle. A normal young man. He should have seen it before.  
“He’s a werewolf,” he whispers, and Hope lets out a whimper. “That is why my family is hunting him down… fuck…”  
“Don’t act like you didn’t know,” Lyall spits out, as he digs his wand into Sirius’ chest. “Don’t act like…,” he begins, but then he stops himself, his voice shaking, revealing how scared he truly is.  
“I had no idea, sir. I only came here, looking for a job. Your wife hired me, and Remus and I became friends. I… I care for your son, sir, and I would never hurt him. I promise I will…”  
“Does he know?” Hope asks, and Sirius looks up at her. “Who you are?”  
“I don’t think he did. But my friend told him my name, and he has been avoiding me since. So I think he knows now. I think he’s scared I am here to hurt him, but… I like him. I really do. I thought he was a Muggle. I thought you all were.”  
“Lyall, he…”  
“Is a Black. They are all the same.”  
“I understand, sir,” Sirius says, accepting his fate. He had always known that this day would come, where his family name would be the end of him. “You need to protect your son. I would do the same.”  
“Lyall, please. He’s just a boy.”  
“He’s a Black. He’s here to kill Remus,” Lyall says, but his voice is shaking. Sirius closes his eyes, preparing himself for what is coming. But he can feel a hand on his arm, and he opens his eyes again.  
“If you hurt him…”  
“I won’t,” Sirius quickly says. “I promise. I love him,” he blurts out, but as soon as the words have left his mouth, he realises what he has said. Hope looks straight into his eyes, his Black eyes, trying to read them. She then gives a small nod, and leads him through the back, up the stairs to the apartment. Sirius hasn’t been there before, and on any other day he would enjoy being there, but Lyall still has his wand pointed at him, even as they are sitting down, and Hope has gone into Remus’ room to get him.  
“I am not…,” Sirius begins, as soon as Remus and his mother enter the living room. “I’m not like them. I don’t hate you. I don’t think you’re…,” he says, but he can’t even get himself to say the words his family uses to describe werewolves. “I don’t think any of that is true, Remus. That is why I left, because I don’t think like them, I can’t…”  
“They want to kill me,” Remus interrupts him, and Sirius nods, looking down at his feet, too embarrassed to face him. “They have tried, before we moved here.”  
“You’re my friend, Remus. I could never hurt you.”  
“How do I know that this isn’t just a trick?” Remus asks, and Sirius looks up at him. Lyall and Hope are still in the room, and he would prefer to have this conversation in private. But he understands why they won’t leave him alone with their son.  
“Look at me,” he says. “I like you, Remus,” he says, and he can see the young man blushing, even now. “I know that they are my family, technically, but remember what I told you about them? I told you I never belonged. I’m not… They hate you and your… kind,” Sirius says, hoping to not offend Remus. “But they hate my kind too, Remus. If they get the chance, they will kill me too.”  
“Your kind?” Hope asks, a confused look on her face.  
“They hate anyone who isn’t what they deem to be… normal. They want a world full of perfect, normal wizards. Everyone should follow their rules, be the same. If you’re different, they will want to kill you.”  
“And you are…”  
“Everything they hate,” Sirius says. “They spread hate, them and their followers. They… I am promising you, mr. and mrs. Lupin, that I don’t agree with their believes. I don’t care that Remus is… he is my friend.”  
“But you are a…”  
“It’s just a name, dad,” Remus interrupts his father. “I believe him.”  
“But Remus…”  
“I believe him,” Remus repeats. “He won’t hurt us.”  
“If you tell anyone about…”  
“He will tell James and Lily,” Remus interrupts his father again. “They are wizards too. They’re my friends.”

“So… will your family want to kill me twice then?”  
“Huh?”  
“I assume they hate you because you’re…,” Remus begins, as they are out on the balcony of his bedroom. “Because you like…”  
“Yeah, it makes me a monster in their eyes. Like…”  
“Werewolves?” Remus suggests.  
“Sorry, I didn’t mean…”  
“I guess I’m the worst then,” Remus says, staring up at the sky. “You see, I’m not only a werewolf, I also really like this guy.”  
“Really?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Lucky bastard,” Sirius says, trying really hard not to smile, but failing miserably. Remus looks at him, a shy look on his face. “I will do everything I can to protect you, Remus.”  
“I believe you.”

-

“You knew who I was, when Lily told you my name,” Sirius says, after he and Remus have closed up the café, a few days later. At first it had been a little uncomfortable between them, now that they knew who they really were, but after only a few hours of working together, it had been as though nothing had changed between them at all.  
“Of course. My father has been warning me about your family all my life.”  
“But your mum, she… she knew my name, because I told her when I applied for the job.”  
“She knows about your family, but she doesn’t know all of your names. She just assumed you were a Muggle, so…”  
“So if she had known my name…”  
“She would have told my dad, and he probably would have killed you,” Remus admits, and Sirius gives a little nod, trying to take it in. “He doesn’t hate you, Sirius, he just…”  
“Wants to protect you,” Sirius interrupts him. “I would do the same. I will do the same.”  
“If they find me…”  
“They won’t.”  
“They have found us before.”  
“You didn’t have me then,” Sirius says, and he can see the young man starting to blush. He goes up to him, but Remus quickly turns around, and goes over to one of the tables. “Remus…”  
“I can’t.”  
“I like you.”  
“We might have to pack up and leave, and I don’t want…,” Remus begins, but Sirius interrupts him, as he follows him to the table.  
“So?”  
“I like you, but…”  
“If you need to leave, we will find a way to make this work,” Sirius interrupts him again, and he puts a hand on the young man’s arm. “You didn’t think you could just leave and… were you just going to leave without telling me?” he asks, taking a step back, his hand leaving Remus’ arm feeling cold.  
“I have never had any friends to leave behind, I have never… we have moved so many times, I couldn’t… this is new to me. So I don’t know, Sirius. I don’t know what is going to happen when we move, when we have to run again.”  
“I’ll come with you.”  
“No, you won’t. You have friends, a life, you…”  
“I love you, Remus,” Sirius whispers, scared that if he speaks the words any louder, they will lose meaning. A long silence follows, where the young man just looks at him, but he doesn’t say a word. “Have I said too much?”  
“I don’t know what to say,” Remus admits. Sirius flashes a small smile, as he brushes the hair out of the young man’s face.  
“May I kiss you?” he whispers, expecting Remus to push him away, to run and leave. But he just nods, clearly too nervous to say anything. But just as Sirius is about to kiss Remus, the door to the back room opens, and Lyall walks into the café.  
“Dad,” Remus says, as he takes a step away from Sirius. His father seems to be oblivious to what had been about to happen only moments before, as he starts telling them about his day. But as he looks over at Sirius, Remus catches the loving look in his eyes, and he knows they will get another chance at their first kiss.

-

“I don’t think this is a good idea,” Hope says, as she looks back at Sirius, who is in the living room, looking out of the window. “It’s just not safe, love.”  
“I want him to be here when I… tomorrow morning.”  
“Remus…”  
“Mum, he makes me feel normal,” Remus whispers. “he makes me feel…,” he begins, but then he stops himself, afraid to say too much.  
“You love him,” Hope says, and her son’s face turns a dark shade of red.  
“I…”  
“You do, don’t you?”  
“Yeah,” Remus admits, looking over at Sirius. “I do,” he says, as his mother grabs his hand. “I know he’s a Black, mum, but he isn’t like them. He is different.”  
“I know.”  
“He doesn’t care that I’m a… he likes me.”  
“He will have to sleep on the couch,” Hope says. “It isn’t safe for him to be in your room.”  
“I know,” Remus says, looking back at his mother. “Thank you. I love you.”  
“I love you too.”

“Sirius, come here, love,” Hope says, after Remus has entered his bedroom that night, and Hope has locked him in there. Sirius joins Hope at the kitchen table, and she lets out a big sigh. “You must have seen the scars on his…,” she eventually says, bringing her fingers up to her neck.  
“Yeah.”  
“We don’t know how to help him, love. We keep others safe by keeping him locked up, but… we don’t know how to keep our own son safe,” she admits, as a tear rolls down her face. “He was just a little boy when he became… We have tried everything, but…”  
“It isn’t your fault.”  
“Locking your son up, it’s… I sometimes wonder if we are the monsters,” Hope admits. “But we just don’t know what else to do.”  
“You can’t let him go out and hurt people.”  
“He hurts himself. He is in there on his own, and he takes it out on himself,” Hope explains. “I listen to him, crying out in pain. Remus, he… I know how much you care for him, but this is never going to go away.”  
“I know,” Sirius says, trying to stay strong, trying to hide how scared he is. “But I’m not going anywhere.”  
“You say that now, but…”  
“I have heard about wolves controlling it. They still transform, but they can control their actions, they are not dangerous anymore.”  
“We have tried everything already.”  
“No, we will find a way for him to control it. I promise,” Sirius says, and although he can see that Hope doesn’t believe there is a way for her son to control his condition, she flashes a grateful smile, and gives his hand a squeeze.  
“Thank you, love.”


	4. Chapter 4

Sirius has been up all night, listening to Remus’ cries of pain, listening to Hope crying in her bedroom. Lyall had left the apartment, unable to face it, but Sirius knows he is nearby, in case of danger, knowing Remus is most vulnerable during a full moon.

It has been the longest night, just knowing how much pain Remus was in, how much he was suffering. It had nearly made Sirius go into the room, to try and help him. But he wouldn’t know what to do. So he had stayed outside his door, simply listening, telling himself that he would not give up until he would find a way to help.

“Remus?” he asks, after he hasn’t heard anything for a long time. He looks out of the window, and the sun is already rising, but he isn’t sure if it’s too soon to go into his room. But when he hears a soft whimper, his heart breaks, and he decides to take a chance. He unlocks the door, and goes into the room, only to find Remus lying in the corner of the room, curled up into a ball, shivering.

“I’m here,” he whispers, as Remus tries to make a sound, but it only comes out as another soft whimper. He lies down with him, and wraps his arms around him, realising he is as cold as ice. So he pulls him close, holding him tight, hoping to warm him up.

“Sirius,” Remus whispers, and Sirius can’t help but smile, as the young man nuzzles his face into the crook of his neck.

“I love you,” he whispers, before kissing the top of his head. “I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”

“You don’t have to do this,” Remus says, an embarrassed look on his face, as they step into the bathroom, and Sirius closes the door behind them.

“Let me help you, please.”

“I don’t want you to see me as…”

“Weak?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t,” Sirius reassures him. “I just want to help you because I care for you.”

Sirius turns on the tap of the bath, as Remus sits down on the toilet, his legs too tired to hold him up any longer. He closes his eyes, and Sirius can’t help but look at him. He looks so much older right now, so weak, so fragile, his skin that sickly grey-ish colour it had been back when Sirius had first seen him.

“Have you bitten yourself?” he asks, and Remus opens his eyes, and looks down at the wound on his arm. Only now does it hit Sirius that he has never seen him in anything other than long sleeves, even during the heatwave weeks ago. When he had found Remus on the floor, earlier this morning, he hadn’t looked at him, not really. Even when he had helped him put on pants, so they could get to the bathroom, had he not looked at him. But now that he is sitting here in the bright bathroom light, in just his pants, he can’t help but truly look at him. At the scars covering his body. The scratches, the bite marks.

“I guess so,” Remus says, still looking down at the wound on his arm. He looks embarrassed, but Sirius isn’t judging him, he’s just scared. Scared that one day he will kill himself when he is locked up in that room by himself.

“Has your mum taught you about Animagi?”

“Yeah.”

“I can try to learn how become one, so I can stay with you during full moons,” Sirius explains, having thought about it during the night. “Maybe it’ll…”

“I can’t risk it.”

“I can, and I will.”

“It takes years to learn anyway,” Remus says, avoiding Sirius’ eyes.

“I can do it, Remus. I can’t let you stay in there on your own, hurting yourself. It might take me years, but… I will do it.”

“What if I hurt you?” Remus asks, now looking up at him.

“You won’t,” Sirius says, and that is that. He turns off the tap, and helps the young man up to his feet. He quickly helps him out of his pants, and into the bathtub. And as soon as Remus sits down in the water, he closes his eyes, a certain peace coming over him. Sirius notices it, and can’t help but smile.

-

“Hey you,” Sirius says, when Remus steps into the café, still weak, but looking better than a few days ago. Remus sits down at one of the tables, and Sirius joins him, right away grabbing his hand and giving it a squeeze. “How are you feeling?”

“Embarrassed,” Remus admits, looking down at their hands.

“Why?”

“Because you had to wash me…”

“I didn’t have to wash you, I wanted to wash you. Remus, I…,” Sirius says, and he looks around the café, but the only people there are at the other side of the room, and they are focussed on their own conversation. “I want you to go out with me, on a date.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. I want to do this right.”

“You’ll have to give me a few days to get back on my feet.”

“I get that,” Sirius laughs, as he brings Remus’ hand up to his lips, before kissing it. “Just let me know when you’re ready for it.”

“I will,” Remus says, unable to hide the shy smile on his face.

“Are you kicking me out?” Sirius asks, when he enters the apartment, and Lily and James are waiting for him in the living room, both nervous. “I’ve been saving up, but…”

“We are not kicking you out, but sit down.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Just sit down,” James repeats, and Sirius does as he is told. All kinds of bad things start running through his mind, but when Lily blurts out their news, his mouth falls open.

“I’m pregnant.”

“What?”

“I’m pregnant,” she repeats. “We’re having a baby.”

“You are… Really?”

“Yeah,” Lily laughs, unable to hide how happy she is. “It’s still early days, but…,” she says as she puts her hand on her belly. “We are having a baby.”

“Wow, congratulations,” Sirius says, and he jumps up and goes over to them to hug them. “That is one lucky kid.”

“Because he’s got you as his godfather?” James asks, and Sirius is about to make a joke, but then it hits him what James has said.

“His…”

“Will you do it?”

“Of course, I’d be honoured, but…,” Sirius begins, but he doesn’t know what else to say.

“No buts, Black,” Lily laughs. “If something happens to us, we need this little one to have someone who will raise them right. We need someone we can trust. We need a good man.”

-

“How do I look?” Sirius asks, as he steps into the living room. He is about to go out to dinner with Remus, and he is so nervous, that he keeps changing his clothes. He is now wearing a suit that James’ parents had bought for him, and although it isn’t really his thing, he is now wearing it, just to make a good impression, even though Remus has already seen him hundreds of times before.

“Very handsome,” Lily laughs, as she comes up to him. She brushes his hair behind his ears, a proud smile on her face. “I bet he won’t be able to keep his hands off you.”

“I wouldn’t,” James says, and they both look over at him. “What, he looks great.”

“Should I be worried?” Lily laughs.

“Don’t worry, he’s not my type,” Sirius laughs. “I’ve only got eyes for one man, and that’s Remus.”

“Good, because I will fight you for my man,” Lily laughs, before giving him a kiss on the cheek. “Good luck.”

“So, you are taking my son out on a date, huh?” Lyall asks, as soon as he opens the door to the apartment. Sirius nearly feels his legs giving out, not having expected this, and he doesn’t know what to say. All he wants to do is turn and run away, especially when he sees the stern look on the man’s face. “Well, are you?”

“I ehm…”

“Speak up!”

“Ehm… I ehm…”

“Lyall, stop messing with him,” Hope laughs, as she appears in the hallway. “Let him in.”

“Oh, you’re no fun,” Lyall laughs, and he lets Sirius enter the apartment. But Sirius can still feel his legs wobbling, and he is still trying to process what had just happened. “Do you want a drink?”

“I ehm…”

“Are you nervous, love?” Hope asks, as she comes up to him, to straighten his jacket. “Don’t worry, Lyall was just teasing you.”

“It’s my son’s first date, I want…”

“Lyall!” Hope warns him, but Sirius had already figured out that Remus had probably never been out on a date before.

“If you hurt him…”

“I won’t.”

“Lyall, please,” Hope laughs, but her husband just shrugs.

“Well, what else are you supposed to say to the boy who takes your son out?”

“You say ‘have fun, enjoy yourselves’,” Hope laughs, as she brushes Sirius’ jacket down again. “And don’t be home too late, because you both have to work tomorrow.”

“We will be home before midnight,” Sirius laughs, as Remus’ bedroom door opens, and he comes out, looking more than nervous. He is wearing a suit, but it is a little shabby, it is worlds apart from the expensive suit the Potters had given to Sirius.

“Wow, you look…”

“I know,” Remus says, looking embarrassed.

“Beautiful,” Sirius says, and Remus looks up at him, expecting a mocking look. But he sees nothing but a genuine loving look, and he can’t help but blush, even with his parents standing next to Sirius. “Let’s go.”

“So… your parents know?” Sirius asks, after they have left the restaurant. They are now in Cardiff Bay, looking out at the water, as they had done many months ago.

“Know what?”

“About us.”

“Yeah,” Remus says, a shy smile on his face.

“They don’t seem to mind that we’re…”

“A wizard and a werewolf?” Remus asks, keeping his voice down.

“No, I mean…”

“A werewolf and a Black?”

“No,” Sirius laughs, but he can tell that Remus is just teasing him. “Two men.”

“Would your family really kill you if they were to find out?” Remus asks, and Sirius nods. “What was it like, growing up with so much hate around you?”

“Dark,” Sirius admits. “It constantly felt dark, heavy. There was never laughter, or love.”

“Did they ever tell you they loved you?”

“Never,” Sirius says, as he looks up at the sky. “James was the first person who told me they loved me. Then Li…”

“I love you,” Remus interrupts him, and Sirius looks back at him. “I love you, Sirius.”

“I love you too.”

“I don’t want tonight to end,” Remus whispers. They are making their way home, holding hands. Sirius has never done this before with anyone, walking hand in hand, and he has to admit that it is making him feel butterflies in his stomach.

“Your dad would kill me if I don’t make sure you’re home before midnight,” Sirius says, and Remus can’t help but smile.

“Probably, so we better go home. I don’t think I’m ready to lose you just yet.”

“No?”

“Nah,” Remus laughs, and he gives Sirius’ hand a little squeeze. They are now almost at the apartment, and they can both feel themselves walking slower and slower, trying to make the night last as long as possible. But when they reach the door, they know they can’t put it off any longer.

“I really enjoyed this,” Remus says, nervously looking down at his feet.

“So you’ll go on a second date with me then?”

“Yeah.”

“Good.” Sirius smiles, as the young man looks back up at him. He puts a hand on the side of Remus’ neck, carefully tracing his thumb along his jaw, until Remus looks into his eyes. He then gently presses his lips against the young man’s lips, still half expecting him to push him away. But he can feel him kissing him back, and it isn’t until they hear a noise, that they break the kiss. They jump up, both ready for anything, both ready for a fight, but they see a cat running away, and they look at each other and start laughing. But it’s a nervous laughter, and it makes them realise just how on edge they truly are, how aware they are that they are living in fear, every single day of their lives.

-

“Just tell me,” Sirius says, but James looks over at Remus, who is curled up next to Sirius on the couch.

“We’ll talk later.”

“Tell me. What’s wrong? Is it the baby? Is he okay?”

“The baby is okay,” James says, and he sighs. “But Lily and I… we want to move. We have really enjoyed living here, like this. Without magic. But once the baby is here, we want to raise him…”

“I get it,” Sirius says, and he flashes a small smile. “Don’t worry. Just let me know when.”

“Will you be staying here?” James asks, and Sirius looks down at Remus, and sighs, realising that he will have to move away from him. That things are going to change.

“I can’t afford it. But I don’t know. I quite enjoy living without magic,” Sirius says. But James can see that it’s a lie. That if he could, he would only stay here for Remus. That he has enjoyed living like this, but that he is ready to go back to being a wizard.

“Where will you go?” Remus asks, but Sirius shrugs.

“I don’t know.”


	5. Chapter 5

“I can’t, mum,” Remus says, as Sirius walks into the café one morning. It’s been a few months since their first date, and they have been on more dates. But they have still gone on as they were. Whenever they had come close to making things official, or had come close to taking another step, something had stopped them. They had both been so aware of the danger that constantly seems to be looming over them, that it had stopped them from letting things go too far.

“We’ll continue this conversation later,” Hope says, as she gets up. She gives Sirius a big hug, before leaving the café, and going upstairs.

“What was that about?”

“She ehm… it doesn’t matter.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. How was the apartment?” Remus asks.

“Too expensive,” Sirius admits. “I’ve only got a few more weeks left before I have to move out, before they leave, so… I think I’ll have to leave Cardiff.”

“Yeah… Will you go with them?”

“I want to stay with you.”

“You can’t stay here,” Remus says, looking down at his hands. “We haven’t got any spare rooms, and I need my room when I…”

“I know,” Sirius says, and he grabs his hand. “We’ll find a way to make it work. Even if I live somewhere else.”

-

“Thank you so much,” Sirius says, as he gives James a big hug. James had paid rent for another month, to give Sirius more time to find a new place to live. To make sure he wouldn’t end up on the street.

“You take care of yourself, yeah?”

“I will. And you take care of my godson,” Sirius says, as he lets go of his best friend, and looks at Lily. He puts his hands on her ever-growing belly, and feels the baby kicking, as he always does. “I can’t wait to meet him.”

“Are you sure we can leave?” Lily asks. “You don’t look well.”

“I’ve just got a… I don’t know. It’s just a cold, probably,” Sirius says, but all morning he has been feeling sick, and he can’t seem to shake a bad feeling. “But you two are leaving, and I will be fine. I promise.”

“You better. We need you,” Lily says. “He needs you,” she adds, looking down at her belly.

“I will be fine.”

“So I was thinking…,” Remus begins, as he and Sirius are on his bed that afternoon, staring up at the ceiling.

“Yeah?”

“How about…,” Remus says, but before he can finish his sentence, a lot of noise can be heard in the living room, and they both jump up. They storm out of the room, and find Lyall there, packing a bag.

“What is going on?” Sirius asks, when he sees the tears rolling down Hope’s face. “Did they find you?”

“They did,” Lyall says, and Sirius looks at Remus. He can see the colour draining from his face, his own legs nearly giving out from underneath him. “Go pack a bag, we’re leaving.”

“But dad…”

“Now!” Lyall snaps, and Remus and Sirius quickly go back into the bedroom, and start packing some of Remus’ things. But then Remus stops Sirius, and he grabs his arm.

“Go home, before they get here.”

“No, I’m not leaving you.”

“They will get here, before we leave. I know them, they…”

“I know them too, Remus,” Sirius says, and he puts his hands on the sides of Remus’ neck. “So I am not leaving you behind. I will stay here with you.”

“Please, I need you to be safe.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Sirius whispers, before pressing his lips against Remus’. They stay like that for just a moment, but then they hear noise outside, and they go over to the window. Sirius sees a girl, her long dark curls hiding most of her face. But he would recognise his cousin anywhere.

Within seconds, he is downstairs, with Remus following him.

“Don’t! She will kill you!”

“Not if I kill her first.”

“Sirius, please…”

“Stay here,” Sirius warns him, but Remus follows him to the door. But then Lyall runs down the stairs, and he grabs his son by the waist to pull him back. “Stay here!” Sirius repeats, as he leaves the apartment.

“She will kill him,” Remus cries, trying to get out of his father’s grip. But he isn’t strong enough. And as his father drags him up the stairs, he hears a blood-curdling scream, that makes his legs give out underneath him. His father has to carry him into the living room, but everything is a blur now. Has Sirius just been murdered? Because of him? Are they about to be murdered?

But then he hears footsteps coming up the stairs, and he snaps out of it. He recognises these footsteps, even now. And when Sirius comes into the room, his face as white as that of a ghost, Remus manages to find his strength. He runs up to him, and wraps his arms around him, holding him as tight as he possibly can.

“I thought you were…”

“She’s dead,” Sirius whispers. “I killed her.”

“Sirius, I…”

“I grew up with her…”

“You did what you had to do, son,” Lyall says, as he and his wife pack up the bags, and go towards the door.

“Why don’t we Apparate?” Sirius asks, a confused look on his face.

“We can’t, love,” Hope says. “Lyall, he…,” she begins to explain, but before she can finish her sentence, an explosion can be heard downstairs.

“They’re here,” Lyall says. “You have to go, Sirius.”

“I’m not leaving.”

“You have to,” Remus says, shooting a nervous look towards the door, knowing that they only have a matter of seconds before the Blacks will be here.

“What, and just leave you to it? Remus, I love you, and I promised I would protect you.”

“I love you too,” Remus whispers, and Sirius flashes just the smallest of smiles. But he can’t hide how scared he truly is. Not for himself, but for Remus and his family.

Within seconds, the door is blown away, and a group of six people comes into the apartment. They look so blood-thirsty, that it makes Sirius feel like his blood turns into ice. He knows that they must be members of his family, or perhaps these are their followers, but he only recognises two of them. A cousin, and his father.

“Go,” Remus whispers, but instead, Sirius grabs his arm, and drags him into his bedroom, and closes the door behind them. A fight can be heard, and he feels horrible, leaving Lyall, and Hope, a Muggle, to it, but he wants to protect Remus, and he knows that they will want to protect him too.

“I’m taking you with me.”

“Don’t you dare,” Remus says, and he steps away from him. “I’m not leaving them behind.”

“Remus, they will kill you.”

“I’d rather die than run away and leave my parents to die. I couldn’t live with myself if that’s…,” he says, but before he can finish his sentence, they hear Hope screaming. “They’re my parents, Sirius. I need to be with them.”

“This is your only chance.”

“I know. But they’re my family,” Remus says, and Sirius sighs, but he can see the love in his eyes, even through all the fear. And even though he has never felt any kind of love for his family, he knows what Remus is feeling. Because he would never leave James and Lily behind. Or Remus.

“Then let’s fight,” Sirius says.

“I love you,” Remus says, scared that he will never be able to say it again. But before Sirius can say the words back to him, the door flies open, and Sirius’ cousin and father storm into the room. His father raises his wand, and Sirius sees the anger in his eyes. The hate. He knows that his father will kill Remus without a second thought, so without thinking about it, Sirius steps in front of Remus. He raises his wand, commanding it to cast the spell he had vowed to never use, but had used only minutes before on his own cousin. The next thing he knows, a sharp pain can be felt in his chest, but as he looks down, the world starts spinning, and his legs give out.

-

“Sirius?” Remus whispers, as he watches Sirius opening his eyes. “Sirius?”

“My chest…”

“Shh, don’t…”

“What happened?” Sirius asks, as he tries to sit up, but Remus stops him. “You… your parents… are they okay?”

“Sirius…,” Remus begins, looking down at his hands.

“Are they okay?”

“Is he awake, love?” Hope asks, as she comes into the room. “Oh, thank goodness.”

“Your dad?”

“He is fine,” Remus says, still looking down at his hands. “But you…”

“I killed him, didn’t I? My father.”

“Yeah,” Remus says, as he finally looks up at him. “His spell hit you, and we thought you had died, but you somehow survived. I don’t know, but…”

“And the rest of them?”

“They died, love,” Hope says, as she comes over to the bed, and puts her hand on his. “But we had to leave everything behind, in case they told others where we were.”

“Where are we?” Sirius asks, only now realising that they are not in Remus’ bedroom.

“Somewhere safe for now,” Hope says, giving him a small squeeze in his hand.

“I’m so sorry,” Remus whispers.

“What?”

“Your dad…”

“He was going to kill you,” Sirius says. “Both of us,” he says, and a cold feeling washes over him. It is a feeling of shame. Not shame that he has killed his father. But shame that he doesn’t regret killing him.

“He was still your father,” Remus says, and Sirius looks up at Hope.

“Technically, yeah. But I…”

“It’s okay to feel the way you do, love,” Hope reassures him, and Sirius knows that she can see right through him. “It’s okay.”

“He is not my family,” Sirius says, looking back at Remus. “You are.”

“You don’t hate me for it?”

“I don’t. I promise.”

-

“Look at the two of you,” James laughs, as he enters the bedroom. It was a full moon last night, so Remus is curled up in bed, weak and fragile. Sirius is still healing from the fight with his family, so he is also still in bed, his arm now around Remus.

“Is there anything I can do for you?” Lily asks, as she comes over to them to give them a hug. “Make a cup of tea?”

“I think his mum…”

“Mum will do it,” Remus says, as he sits up, his body still visibly shaking. Sirius shoots him a worried look, but he just flashes a reassuring smile.

“Is it like this every time?” Lily asks, as she and James sit down in the chairs that Hope had set out for them. “That must exhausting.”

“It’s fine.”

“It’s not,” Sirius says, looking down at a fresh wound on his arm. Remus quickly hides it, embarrassed to show it to James and Lily, but they have already seen it. “But I will become an Animagus, so you won’t have to go through it on your own anymore.”

“What will you do now?” James asks. He and Lily had gone back to their shared apartment to pick up his things, and they have just brought it over. But Sirius can’t go back, because his family must know by now that he had been there that night of the fight. So he will have to hide from them, to not lead them to Remus.

“I can stay here until I’m better,” Sirius says, but then he shrugs. “Then I’ll try and find a place to live around here.”

“You won’t hide from us, will you?” Lily asks, putting a hand on her belly.

“No, of course not. It’s just until…,” he begins, but then he stops himself.

“Until he grows tired of it, and leaves me,” Remus says, looking down at his hands.

“No, don’t you dare,” Sirius says, “Just until…”

“Until there is no more place for their kind in this world?” Lily suggests, and Sirius nods.

“That is never going to happen though, is it?” Remus asks. “People are never going to accept people like me.”

“Yeah, they will,” James says. “It might take a while, but people like the Black family are not going to be around forever.”

“This little one is going to grow up in a different kind of world,” Lily says. “Just you see.”

-

“Do you think I should ask him?” Sirius asks, and Hope gets the biggest smile on her face.

“Ask him, love. He will say no at first, but he will love the idea.”

“Really?”

“I know he will,” Hope says, as her son enters the living room, exhausted from yet another full moon. It has been months since the fight, and only now are things getting back to normal. Once things had settled down, had the pain of what had happened, truly hit them. Lyall had focussed on his work, and Hope had focussed on getting the new house in order. But Remus and Sirius had been together 24/7. It had led to some arguments, mostly because Remus had kept trying to push Sirius away because he had been feeling guilty. But only now is he finally coming to terms with what has happened. Only now has he started to accept that none of it was his fault.

“Remus, have you got a minute?”

“Sure,” the young man says, as he sits down on the couch, taking his mother’s place, who quickly leaves the room. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I was just wondering… would you like to move in with me?”

“What?”

“It can be our own little place,” Sirius says, unable to hide the nervous smile on his face. “I know we’ll need to get a room in order for you, for the full moon, but…”

“But what about… do you realise the freedom you would be giving up, moving in with me?”

“With my boyfriend?” Sirius asks, and Remus’ face turns a dark shade of red. They had never actually made it official, and this is the first time Sirius has used the word.

“Yeah?”

“That’s what you are, right?”

“Yeah.” Remus smiles, as he looks down at his hands. “I was actually… nah, it doesn’t matter.”

“What?”

“I was going to suggest getting a place together, the night they ehm… the night they found us.”

“Really?” Sirius asks, and Remus looks up at him, a shy look on his face. “I think we can make it work.”

“My mum will need to check the room I will stay in during the full moon though. She knows what I’m capable of, so…”

“We will make sure it’s safe for everyone,” Sirius says, as he puts a hand on the side of Remus’ neck. “I will do everything I can to protect you, Remus,” he whispers, but then he sees a sadness in the young man’s eyes, and he knows that he is thinking about that night. “I love you,” he whispers, before pressing his lips against Remus’.

“I love you too.”

-

“He is beautiful,” Sirius whispers, looking down at the little boy in his arms. The baby is looking up at him, and as Sirius looks into his eyes, he feels so much love, that he feels like his heart is about to burst. “He is perfect.”

“He is,” Lily says, a proud look on her face, as she looks at them.

“And we were wondering…,” James begins, and Sirius looks up at him, as the baby boy grabs Remus’ finger. Remus has the biggest, most loving smile on his face, as the little boy makes a gurgling sound, still holding his finger tight.

“Remus?” Lily asks, and he looks up at her. “We have asked Sirius to be Harry’s godfather.”

“He told me,” Remus says, a proud smile on his face.

“But we were wondering if you will be his godfather too,” Lily says. “If something happens to us, we would like the two of you to raise him.”

“Me?” Remus asks, a confused look on his face. “But I’m…”

“We know, Remus. But your condition does not make you who you are. Just like Sirius’ family, his name, does not make him who he is,” Lily says. “We know you would do a great job raising him.”

“Are you sure?” Remus asks, looking down at the little boy in Sirius’ arms.

“We’re sure,” James says, and Remus looks up at Sirius. He sees the tears in his eyes, and a wave of emotion washes over him.

“Will you do it?” Lily asks, and Remus nods.

“I would be honoured to be Harry’s godfather.”

-

“How are you feeling?” Sirius asks, when he joins Remus on the balcony of their apartment. It’s been two years since they had moved away from Cardiff. Two years since the fight. Two years since Sirius had nearly died. It had felt like he had been given a second chance, and he had vowed to not let it go to waste.

“I’m happy,” Remus says, as he looks up at the stars in the sky. “Before I met you, I had never even had a friend, and now…”

“And it will only get better,” Sirius says, as he puts an arm around his waist, pulling him close. “If the rumours are true…”

“They never are.”

“I think they are, Remus. My family, they are losing their followers, and after their fight last year, there are only a few of them left, they… times are changing. There is no more room for their hate in this world.”

“Do you think we will ever be able to stop hiding who we are?”

“I know we will.”


End file.
